Article:

Jealousy

Are there healthy forms of jealousy?  In my opinion no forms of jealously are healthful to anyone’s wellbeing.  I believe there are as many healthy forms of jealously as there are healthy forms of ignorance. 

In reality when we experience jealousy it is because we have forgotten our own power to impact our own lives.  In other words we are feeling like a victim in the relationship. 

The worst impact of jealousy is that it is a very predictable self fulfilling prophesy.  The more jealous someone is, the more likely it becomes that they will help create they very thing they fear.  This is because jealousy has two underlying assumptions holding up the illusion of powerlessness:  1)  I am afraid someone else has something I am somehow missing (or will lose) and 2) I am afraid this will leave me empty handed.

Yes, jealousy can lead to detrimental disconnects.  However, it is best to not fear jealousy!  Instead use it as an indicator if you should notice it arising in you.  Jealousy shows us when we really truly care about someone or something.  Jealousy indicates that we’ve momentarily forgotten what magnitude we do have over our own life.

On the other hand, not being jealous doesn’t guarantee everything will be peachy either.  For example, I had a client that took pride in his lack of jealously to the extreme.  This turned into apathy which had equally detrimental effects in his life (his words). 

It would appear that we should then try and strike a balance between jealousy and apathy.  However, in reality jealousy represents the illusion of not having power and apathy represents the illusion that other people (or situations) don’t matter.  Getting rid of the illusion allows us to grasp the magnitude of who we are and what we contribute while equally allowing one to cherish what is.

Healing the illusion allows the truth to surface naturally.  The truth that remains when jealousy (or apathy) is healed at its source is Love.  It is when true love is present that a person, and relationship, truly prospers.

"There is no fear in perfect love."  ~ A Course in Miracles